XENOCORP & The HOLY GRAIL of BALANCE.
|XenoCorp (XC) Pictures Ltd
in association with
The Taldren Forums
XenoCorp and The Holy Grail
Also also appearing:
Alsø alsø wik
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Ustabëkzinti space this yër ?
With special extra thanks to:
The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious
and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is
entirely accidental and unintentional. And I did NOT have sexual relations
with that woman, Ms. Bastet.
Including the majestik miräk
A miräk once bit my sister...
We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
Mynd you, miräk bites Kan be pretty nasti...
We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.
Miräk Trained by: YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.
The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.
|Scene 1: A Romulan Carrying a
|Scene 2: Bring Out Your Wrecks!
|Scene 3: Bloody Peasant!
|Scene 4: The Black Dreadnought
[Exterior - Space - Day]
|Scene 5: Burn the Hydran!
Monks of the Church of Taldren: [chanting while play testing]
|Narrative Interlude: The Book of
Narrator: The wise Captain 762 was the first to join Admiral
Frey's XC Crew, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Captain
Intrepid the Brave, Commodore K'tujHegh the Cunning, Commodore Malystryx the
Pure, Commodore Harry P. Nez the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Malystryx, Captains
Ferret and Alien the-not-even-remotely-as-pure-as-Malystryx, and Captain
Krusaderr the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Intrepid, who had nearly fought the
Sunglider of Hydrax, who had nearly stood up to a vicious freighter from
Klinzhai, and who had personally wet himself at the sight of the
Intergalactic Juggernaught, and the aptly named Captain Tholian
|Scene 6: XenoCorp
[click click clicking around the forum]
|Scene 7: A Blessing From Taldren!
[click click click]
|Scene 8: ISC Starbase / Trojan Wild
[after running away...]
|Scene 9: The Forum Historian
|Scene 10: Harry and the Three Mirak
|Cartoon: Diving Monks of the Church
Monks of the Church of Taldren: [chanting]
|Scene 11: Hawkeye at Starbase
[sound of plasma torps]
|Narrative Interlude: Meanwhile,
Admiral Frey and 762...
Narrator: K'tujHegh had saved Hawkeye from almost certain
temptation, but they were still no nearer the Grail. Meanwhile, Admiral Frey
and 762, not more than a War Eagle's flight away, had discovered something.
Oh, that's a War Eagle, not a Warbird's flight, obviously. I mean, they were
more than two Warbirds' flights away-- four, really, if they had a photon
casing on a line between them. I mean, if the Warbirds were tractoring and
|Scene 12: Admiral Frey, 762, and
the Old Man
Old Man: Ah, hee he he ha!
|Scene 13: The Knights of Foo
Admiral Frey and his gallant band of XenoCorpians are navigating through
a treacherous, seldom-travelled asteroid field...
|Cartoon: Bloody Weather
|Scene 14: Make Sure He Doesn't
Narrator: The Tale of Commodore K'tujHegh.
|Scene 15: Message For You, Sir
K'tujHegh: Well taken, theSea!
|Scene 16: Hurry, K'tujHegh. Hurry!
[K'tujHegh charges the castle]
|Scene 17: The Dead Frodo
|Scene 18: Moofighters the Spammer
Frey and Hawkeye arrive at a dreary colony world, looking for spam... One of the inhabitants is a cranky old Brit named Scrote, who is beating a cat for some reason.
Cat: Rewr! Rewr! Rewr! Rewr!
|Scene 19: The Knights Who No Longer
Frey: O Knights of Foo, we have posted your spam. May we go now?
|Narrative Interlude: Summer Changed
Back Into Winter...
Narrator: And so, Admiral Frey and Hawkeye and Harry P. Nez set
out on their search to find the 'plasma chucker' of whom the old man had
spoken in scene twenty-four. Beyond the Hyperion asteroids, they met
K'tujHegh and 762, and there was much rejoicing.
|Scene 20: Overon the Elite SFCer
The XenoCorpians are riding along the top of a ridge. The country is wild
and inhospitable. Suddenly some of them see fire in the distance and ride
towards it. As they approach they see an impressive FROGLIKE figure striding
around using a PPD to cause various bushes and branches to burst into flame.
|Scene 21: David Ferrell of
|Scene 22: Large Sunglider of
Frey and his Knights have stumbled across an ancient space probe...
|Scene 23: The Bird of Bethke
|Scene 24: The Castle Taldren
Frey: K'tujHegh! K'tujHegh! K'tujHegh!
|XenoCorp and The Holy Grail: Final
Opening Credits (Hawkeye and Hstaphath)
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