Narrator: And so it came to pass that the Nazgul, the 9 black riders of Mordor, came north into Hobbiton and virtually caught Frodo Baggins unawares.

Narrator: Running as if his very immortal soul were in peril (because, quite frankly, it actually was), Frodo was joined in his sudden flight by a few other loyal and steadfast hobbit companions.

Narrator: Though Samwise Gamgee, called Sam, was the first to tag along, two other illustrious names of hobbit lore were soon to follow. Meriadoc Brandybuck, called Merry, and Peregrin Took, called Pippin... as well as several other names given him by Master Gandalf that are not suitable for printing in this tale in order to maintain our PG-13 rating.
Pippin: Hoy, now, you don't need to go into all that!

Narrator: Together they formed a hardy band of compatriots whose names and deeds were to be recorded in the Red Book of Westmarch and retold throughout the centuries! Of course, obviously, the fact that Frodo and Sam helped write the Red Book of Westmarch might have had a lot to do with that...
Merry: Heh... it sure didn't hurt!

Narrator: But, for now, they just plain got lucky the way comic relief in any good epic story does. Taking a detour to purloin some mushrooms, they blundered along an unexpected round-a-bout way through green-hill country, Buckland, and then into the Old Forest in virtually every direction except Bree.
Pippin: Just trying to confuse those black riders, is all. Honest!

Narrator: It was in this manner that they came upon "the Master of wood, water, and hill" known even to the Eldar in the first age as "Iarwain Ben-adar." None other than the eldest of all living creatures in Middle Earth... Tom Bombadil!