Narrator: Frodo had indeed won several fabulous prizes and some nice parting gifts from the Lord and Lady of the Galadhrim, but the members of the Fellowship were still deeply disheartened by the loss of Gandalf.
Pippin: Hey guys, look at all the cool towels and bath soaps Merry and I got from the Galadhon Inn!
Narrator: Meanwhile, the corrupt wizard Saruman, not more than a eagle's flight away in Isengard, was about to unleash his ultimate weapon upon the Fellowship. Oh, that's a northern eagle's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two southern eagles' flights away... four, really, if they had a wizard on a line between them. I mean, perhaps if the eagles were walking and dragging--
Crowd of Hobbits: Get on with it!
Narrator: Oh, anyway. On to scene fourteen, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Frodo discovers a vital secret about Boromir, and in which there aren't any eagles, although I think you can hear a starling--
[WHACK]
Narrator: Owww! Well, alright then... where was I? Right-- meanwhile, back in Isengard...

Saruman: Yes, indeed-e, oh boy! And now-a I unleash... "La Vache de Guerre!" Ze fighting Uruk-Cow-a!!!

Uruk-Cow: MooOOOooooOOOOO!
Saruman: Now go, my unbeatable-type hordes, and bring me Hobbits-a!!!
Orcs: Grrraghhhahh!!! Get Hobbits!
Uruk-Cow: Moo moo moo!!!