[impulse engines]
[Warp noises]
Frey: Whoa there!
[coming out of warp]
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Halt! Who goes there?
Frey: It is I, Admiral Frey, from the Starbase of XenoCorp. Captain of the Odin, defeater of the Romulans, Admiral of all XenoCorp!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: And the other one?
Frey: And this is my trusty servant Ward.

We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of Captains who will join me in my league XenoCorp. I must speak with your lord and master.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: What, ridden on a Starship?
Frey: Yes!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: You're using photon casings!
Frey: What?
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: You've got two empty halves of photon and you're bangin' 'em together.
Frey: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Romulus, through--
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Where'd you get the photons?
Frey: We found them.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Found them? In Romulan space? The photon's Federation!
Frey: What do you mean?
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Well, this is an ECM zone.
Frey: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Are you suggesting photons are magical, that they migrate?
Frey: Not at all, they could be carried.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: What -- a Romulan carrying a photon?
Frey: It could grip it by the casing!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of To-hit Ratios! A shift of any kind cannot affect Balance.
Frey: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Admiral Frey from XenoCorp is here.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Listen, in order to maintain a positive shift, a captain needs to maintain ECCM, right?
Frey: Please!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Am I right?
Frey: I'm not interested!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #2: It could be an overloaded photon!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: Oh, yeah, an overloaded photon maybe, but not a regular photon, that's my point.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
Frey: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my Premier Gaming League?!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: But then of course overloaded photons aren't used far out anyway.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #2: Oh, yeah...
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: So they couldn't be used at a distance anyway...
[Frey warps out of system laughing dementedly]
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two photons are shot in a narrow salvo?
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: No, they'd have to have their opponent tractored for sure.
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #2: Well, simple! They'd just use an even greater ECCM setting!
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #1: What, held under any penalty?
Cheater/Rules Lawyer #2: Well, why not?