Frey and his Knights have stumbled across an ancient space probe...
Frey: There! Look!
K'tujHegh: What does it say?
Hawkeye: What language is that?
Frey: Brother Hstaphath! You are a scholar.
Hstaphath: It's Amarillese!
Hawkeye: Of course! Ketrick of Amarillo!
K'tujHegh: 'Course!
Frey: What does it say?
Hstaphath: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Ketrick of
Amarillo. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail of
Balance in the Castle of cheeeeeeese'.
Frey: What?
Hstaphath: '... the Castle of cheeeeeeese'.
762: What is that?
Hstaphath: He must have been eating Cheesy Poofs.
K'tujHegh: Oh, come on!
Hstaphath: Well, that's what it says.
Frey: Look, if he was eating Cheesy Poofs, he wouldn't bother to
write 'cheeese'. He'd just get cheese all over it!
Hstaphath: Well, that's what's recorded in the probe!
Hawkeye: Perhaps he was lactating.
Frey: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
Hstaphath: No. Just, 'cheeeese'.
K'tujHegh: Cheeeeese.
Frey: Cheeese.
762: Do you suppose he meant Chiaaaaaaz?
Hawkeye: Where's that?
762: Gorn space, I think.
K'tujHegh: Don't the Klingons have a Klinzheeee?
Frey: No, that's Klinzhai.
K'tujHegh: Oh, yes. Klinzhaiiii.
XenoCorp Crew: Klinzhaiii.
762: Jeeeeeeeeesus!
K'tujHegh: No, no. 'Cheeeeeese', like Limburger. Cheeeese.
762: N-- no. No, no, no, no. 'Jeeeeeesus', in surprise and alarm.
K'tujHegh: Oh, you mean sort of a 'Jeez'!
762: Yes, but I-- aaaaaah!
Frey: Oooh!
Hawkeye: Great Bethke!
[dramatic chord]
[roar]
Hstaphath: It's the Large Sunglider of Cheeeeese!
[Large Sunglider of Cheeeeese hoses down Brother Hstaphath with multiple
phaser emplacements]
762: That's it! That's it!
Frey: Run away!
XenoCorp Crew: Run away!
[roar]
Run away! Run awaaay! Run awaaaaay!
[roar]
Keep running!
[more phasers]
[roar]
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!...
762: We've lost him.
[roar]
XenoCorp Crew: Aagh!
Narrator: As the horrendous Large Sunglider lunged forward, escape
for Admiral Frey and his XC Crew seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the CEO of
Polly-O suffered a fatal heart attack.
CEO of Polly-O: Ulk!
[thump]
Narrator: The cheese peril was no more. The quest for Holy Grail of
Balance could continue.