Narrator: The master of the ruined Lake-town sits cold and wet on the shore of the dark lake looking over the devastation of Smaug the Golden's final resting place. His grand house... his wealth... all that he had built... gone.

Master of Town: All is lost. Our town... is dead.
Bärd the Bowman: (stepping out of the shadows carrying Andrømëdå) No it isn't.
Andrømëdå: Put me down already-- I'm not dead!
Bärd the Bowman: As long as we draw breath, our town lives on.
Master of Town: No it doesn't!
Bärd the Bowman: (looking around at the huddled survivors) We must set out for Dale immediately and reclaim the treasure from the mountain. Doubtless, those bumbling dwarves perished first in fire before the dragon attacked us.
Master of Town: Fantasy! Leading and inspiring the masses for such a task is beyond the talents of one as solemn and grim as you.
Bärd the Bowman: (smiling at Rømmë as he finally puts her down) Actually, I feel happy. I feel happy!
(music suddenly begins playing nearby)
Master of Town: Not again-- stop that!
Bärd the Bowman: (singing) We are not dead yet,
We can dance and we can sing.
We are not dead yet,
We can have a schlapping fling.
We are not dead yet,
No need to see red,
No need to call it quits,
'Cause the dragon is dead!
Lake-town Survivors: (singing) We are not yet dead,
That's what the bowman said.
No, we're not yet dead,
The Master is off his head.
We are not yet dead,
And since we need led,
Let's go north 'cause we're not yet dead!
(with the exception of the inconsolable Master of Town, everyone gathers around Bärd and heads toward the lonely mountain)
Lake-town Survivors: (singing) Well, the dragon is dead,
Through the air the arrow sped.
Sure, now it's dead,
Buried in the lake bed.
You are such a king,
To slay that brutish thing,
That homicidal worm, now Smaug's really dead!
Who is this man, who is this man, unafraid of danger,
Who saved us from the dragon's anger?
Bärd the Bowman: (singing) My name is Bärd of Dale.
From the line of Girion, I hail.
Restore a kingdom with me,
And as Bärdings you'll never fail!
Andrømëdå: (singing) I want to stay with you,
But I love my father too.
I'm rather afraid he may,
Send me far away...
Bärd the Bowman: (singing) I'm in love with you,
Rømmë, through and through and through
So marry me and our dreams will all come true!
Andrømëdå: (singing) We'll be as one,
Though the coming days will be hard.
Bärd and Andrømëdå: (singing) We'll be joined in wedded bliss,
Andrømëdå: (singing) As Queen Rømmë,
Bärd the Bowman: (singing) And King Bärd!
Lake-town Survivors: (singing) Oh, we're off to Erebor,
Because we're not yet dead.
We will all enlist,
As the Bärdings that Bärd led.
(an army of wood elves joins in with the mass of humans)
Thranduil: (singing) We awe coming too,
My elves will not be misled.
We awe youw best fwiends,
Now that the dwagon is dead!
Army of Elves and Humans: (singing) Oh, we're not yet dead,
To the mountain we go.
We'll eat elven bread,
And try and earn some dough.
So although...
We wish we could have stayed in bed,
We're going off to Erebor,
Because we're not yet dead!
Bärd the Bowman: (singing) With skill,
And will,
Rebuilding Dale is such a thrill!
Andrømëdå: (singing) To have Bärd,
A palace with a yard,
And appoint our royal guard!
Army of Elves and Humans: (singing) We're going off to Erebor,
Gold will be the latest fashion--
Legolas: (singing) We'll be filmed by Peter Jackson!
Army of Elves and Humans: (singing) Because we're not... yet... dead!
(the music comes to a sudden stop as the armies of men and elves reach the recently rebuilt front door of the lonely mountain)
Thorin: Bugger off!!! This is our mountain and treasure 'cause we dwarves are not yet dead!
Bärd the Bowman: Nuts.