Guv Ronjar: Let's look at their team. As you'd expect, it's a much more defensive line-up. Balin's in goal, Kadh a front-runner there, Dain the midfield anchor, and Legolas as sweeper... Legolas very much the elf in form. One big surprise, obviously, is the inclusion of Bilbo. I don't think anyone could have imagined that.
Kieran Forester: Indeed not! As Sauron discovered during his bitter lose at the Dagorlad Finals of 3434, second age, even the One Ring is of limited use in this sort of contest.
Guv Ronjar: Right you are, Kieran... Isildur came away the trophy winner from that colossal matchup, of course. When you reach this level, you honestly win or lose on the strengths and weaknesses of your teammates that brought you.
(Bilbo puts on his magic ring and promptly disappears from the battle)
Kieran Forester: Well, here comes the wargs on the opening play... Gandalf quickly moving Biggesti Dickesti in to substitute for the missing hobbit.
Guv Ronjar: With the proposed three substitutions per game limit rule having been voted down in last year's hotly debated white council meeting, replacement players will continue to be a huge factor to success.
Kieran Forester: Kadh and La'ra moving to resist the vanguard... and as the two sides come together, we're ready for the start of what promises to be a real battle royale.
(the homicidally brave men of the resistance line hold off the wargs just long enough to bunch up and disorganize the following goblin assault)
Guv Ronjar: They're through!
Kieran Forester: Amog and Bozb there. Rhiakath, number 9, on the outside... Mordraug there with him. There's Bolg. Moog's in there, Gorg covering. Azob, in reserve, holding back. The goblins and wargs are moving far down the field in force.
(charging forward, the elves flank the goblin formation)
Guv Ronjar: And now it's the elves on the attack! Biggesti... Czar Mohab, number 7. Thranduil leading. Czar and Biggesti staying with him. There's Thranduil. Legolas... there he is, Legolas. Legolas there, threading it through.
(as they begin to hold back the elves, the goblins are suddenly surprised from behind)
Kieran Forester: There's the dwarves! Coming in from the opposite flank... Dain there along with Bärd in support. Dain, number 3, making his presence felt.
Guv Ronjar: Azob moving up on the outside. Gondgaur's on the left, the visitors are holding off the home team now and beginning to move forward again.
(the crush of the goblin and warg hordes pushes the dwarves, elves, and men back up the spurs of the mountain)

Kieran Forester: Well, there may be no score, but there's certainly no lack of excitement here! As you can see, Bolg has just disemboweled Gorg for arguing with him. Gorg apparently accused Bolg of having no coherent strategic plan and Bolg say, "spleen go in box!" This is Bolg's third disembowelment of defensive fullbacks in four matchups. Molb now in as wingback for the goblins and wargs.
Guv Ronjar: Molb is coming in behind the elves... Bozb joining him on the breakaway-- The home team's zone defense is coming apart!
Kieran Forester: 2-on-1 break... only Balin stands between them and destiny. Balin, there-- trying to cut down the angle.
Balin: [CENSORED]!!!
(a great shout arises from the dwarves as a trumpet loudly calls out from the front gate of Erebor)
Guv Ronjar: What's this?
Kieran Forester: It's Thorin Oakenshield!
Guv Ronjar: Thorin is rallying the dwarves, elves, and men to him... obstructing the goblin's best scoring opportunity so far.
Kieran Forester: It looks to be a flying pyramid attack up the middle third heading straight into the goblin formation's center. The visitors are going goblin-to-dwarf in response.
(Thorin charges forward... resplendent in shining armor)
Thorin: To me! RALLY TO ME!
Guv Ronjar: Obviously, Gandalf has decided on an all-out attack, as indeed he must with so little time in the match to go.
Gandalf: NO-- You fools!
Kieran Forester: The big question is, who is left to support this drive... who do the dwarves, elves, and men have left to sub in?
Guv Ronjar: The casualty list is becoming more of a problem for the home team as the goblins and wargs seem to have a near endless bench depth. Bilbo is missing in action, Czar is on the 15 day disabled list... Kadh's status is day-to-day, while La'ra is barely managing to stay in with a lateral ankle sprain and knee problems. The biggest loss for the home squad, naturally, has been the death of Biggesti Dickesti.
Kieran Forester: Yes, Biggesti... who saw his reportedly very talented wife only last week--
Guv Ronjar: And here's Fili and Kili on the field covering for Thorin!
(gathering dwarves, elves, and men to him, Thorin rushes forward in fury)
Kieran Forester: Let's see if Thorin can put some life into this bold attack.
(piercing deep through the lines of goblins and wargs, Thorin's force crashes into the bodyguards of Bolg... and is brutally thrown back)
Guv Ronjar: Evidently not.
Kieran Forester: A diving header to no avail, there. With time running out on regulation play, a replay review looks absolutely vital.
Guv Ronjar: And now there is some shouting from the sidelines--
Bilbo: The eagles! The eagles are coming!
(invisible though he may be, a rock strikes Bilbo on the head and he is immediately knocked out)
Meneldor the Eagle: What-ho, squadron leader?
Landroval the Eagle: Top hole, Mellie. Looks like screamin' Boggy pranged his ten-penny ones right in the how's your father. Bally the blighters... we need to dicky-birdy the custard, feather back on their Sammy, take a waspy, and chuck his cans up the blue end.
Meneldor the Eagle: Roger that-- Bunch of monkeys on the Bertie, sir! Better grab their egg and fours and get the bacon delivered.
Landroval the Eagle: Jolly good... plug the squiffy!
(in a great rush of wind, the giant northern eagles arrive)
Guv Ronjar: Coming in for the home team, with not a moment to spare... are forward aces Landroval and Meneldor!
(superimposed caption: BATALJ UV SEKS ARMEN [Uppdåtëra])
Kieran Forester: Meneldor out to Landroval, Landroval back to Meneldor, good give and go here-- Meneldor facing off with Molb... Molb is easily beaten.
(the goblins who are lucky enough not to be cast off the sides of the mountain flee shrieking and bewildered from the eagles)
Guv Ronjar: Wait-- we have another surprise substitution here as Beorn, a truly massive bear, comes in for the mortally wounded Thorin... and he is simply tearing through the visiting team!
(superimposed caption: BATALJ UV SJUVEN ARMEN [Uppdåtëra])
Kieran Forester: Gandalf signals the go-ahead and it's Beorn deep in the goblin defense... here he comes on the far post, tramples Arog, Bolg is there to block-- Beorn smacks Bolg's head right off! It's--
Guv Ronjar: GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Kieran Forester: Beorn heads it in with a top-drawer strike! Yes, Beorn has scored as the clock runs out!
Guv Ronjar: The elves are going mad! The dwarves and humans are going mad!