Scene 8: ISC Starbase / Trojan Wild Weasel

[warp sounds]
[XenoCorp Theme Music]
Frey: Halt! Hello! Hello!
ISC Space Frog: 'Allo! Who is zis?
Frey: It is I, Admiral Frey, and these are my XenoCorp Crew. Who's Starbase is this?
ISC Space Frog: This is the Starbase of my master, Guy de Jinxx Morris!
Frey: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by Bethke with a sacred quest. If he will give us supplies and docking for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail of Play Balance.
ISC Space Frog: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see?
Frey: What?
762: He says they've already got one!
Frey: Are you sure he's got one?
ISC Space Frog: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a (I told him we already got one)

Frey: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
ISC Space Frog: Of course not! You are Federation types-a!
Frey: Well, what are you then?
ISC Space Frog: I'm an ISC Space Frog! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly Admiral!
762: What are you doing in Federation space?
ISC Space Frog: Mind your own business!
Frey: If you will not show us the Holy Grail, we shall take your Starbase by force!
ISC Space Frog: You don't frighten us, Federation pig-dogs! ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Admiral Frey, you and all your silly XenoCorp knnnniggets. Thppppt!
762: What a strange person.
Frey: Now look here, my good man!
ISC Space Frog: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!...... I fart in your general direction! . Your mother was a Mirak and your father smelt of Lyrans!
762: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
ISC Space Frog: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
Frey: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
ISC Space Frog: Fetche lavache!
ISC Space Frog2: Quoi?
ISC Space Frog: Fetche lavache!
[moo!]
Frey: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
[twang]

[MMMOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo]
Jesus Christ! Right! Charge!
XenoCorp Crew: Charge!
[K'tujHegh and Crew charge]
ISC Space Frog: Ah, this one is for your mother!
[twang]

XenoCorp Crew: Run away!
ISC Space Frog: Thpppt!

[after running away...]
K'tujHegh: Fiends! I'll tear them apart with the K'tujHegh can opener!
Frey: No no, no no!
Hawkeye: Admiral! I have a plan, sir...

[later]
[chop saw chop saw]
[rumble rumble squeak]
[Wheeling trojan wild weasel up to the Starbase gates]

Muttering ISC Space Frogs: C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[rumble rumble squeak]
Frey: What happens now?
Hawkeye: Well, now, uh, K'tujHegh, 762, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the wild weasel, taking the ISC Space Frogs by surprise -- not only by surprise, but PPD's totally uncharged!
Frey: Who leaps out?
Hawkeye: Uh, K'tujHegh, 762, and I. Uh, leap out of the wild weasel, uh and uh....
Frey: Oh....
Hawkeye: Oh.... Um, l-look, if we built this large wooden suicide shuttle...
[clank]
[twang]
XenoCorp Crew: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!
[Ward doesn't run fast enough]

[splat]
ISC Space Frogs: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh...


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